Supreme Tweeter

My wife and I are a typical heterosexual couple, but we have a dirty secret: We’re swingers. No, we don’t twirl and flip to music from the 1940s; we meet other couples and have sex with each other’s partners. Due to our conservative careers and even more conservative families, we keep our sexual practices to ourselves. Only a few close vanilla friends know what we’re into (“vanilla” is the term swingers use to refer to anyone who isn’t a swinger … and also other swingers who happen to be covered in vanilla).

Here’s what we’ve learned in the several years now that we’ve been “in the lifestyle” (that’s the more subtle term swingers prefer):

7. It Can Take Years Of Negotiating

We were first were introduced to the lifestyle by two married friends, whom we’d found out from common friends’ gossip had an open relationship. This couple was attracted to …

There’s nothing new, per se, about the swingers’ lifestyle. Thinking about the term conjures feathered hair, key parties, fondue, and maybe things your parents did in the ’70s you don’t need to know about. And, it means the same thing then as it does now. “Swinging means having sex with other partners, together or apart,” psychotherapist Tammy Nelson, PhD, author of The New Monogamy tells me. “It involves consensual experiences that the partners discuss before during, and after with one another, where the details are shared as much or as little as desired.”

What’s thoroughly modern about swinging, though, is the normalization of less-traditional relationship forms. ⁠For example, Silicon Valley‘s Thomas Middleditch recently declared that swinging “saved” his marriage. And while keeping an open mind to the swingers’ lifestyle won’t necessarily be so integral to the health of your relationship, checking in with yourself about your preferences might be a …

While some sexual fetishes are rather unconventional, it’s important to note that most of them are completely normal and even healthy to explore if both partners are into it. We guys know that many women don’t get why men like what we like when it comes to sex, but take a second to consider our reasoning before judging us too harshly.

1. BOOBS

Our fixation on them is so commonplace that it’s almost overlooked as a fetish, but these body parts serve no direct sexual purpose. The theories behind guys’ preoccupation with boobs are abundant, but in my opinion, the three most logical evolutionary explanations are related to reproduction. For one, healthier looking breasts may better feed a baby. Breasts also make female mates easier to spot from a distance and they allocate a certain power to women, allowing them to hypnotize men towards the bed even when we aren’t …

Sometimes fantasies are best left to YouPorn.

Ever since a certain reality television star began his campaign to become president of the US, the word ‘cuckold’ resurfaced in a very odd and unavoidable way. In case you have somehow missed the last several years of right-wing discourse, the so-called alt-right use ‘cuck’ to imply liberal subservience to a culture of political correctness. This, of course, is a misappropriation of the full version of the word, which is apparently derived from the name of the cuckoo bird. Some female cuckoos change male partners and lay their eggs in other nests—a humiliating act of betrayal (insofar as birds can actually feel humiliated). This is somewhat analogous to the situation of a man who has unknowingly been cheated on by a woman. Hence the word ‘cuckold.’

Historically, being a cuckold indicated unwitting marriage to an adulterous woman—undesirable, by all accounts. But sexual appetites…

Question: My wife and I have been happily married for 30 years. We have fantasized about her having another man and, while that’s not likely to happen, I thought it might be enjoyable for both of us if she were to get a sensual massage from a man I have been corresponding with. It is a great source of stimulation for me to think about, but I have not brought it up to her at this point. Any thoughts on how to handle cuckolding fantasies?

It’s a very common fantasy, actually. For those reading who don’t know what a “cuckold” is, it’s defined by Merriam-Webster simply as, “a man whose wife is unfaithful.” The word stems from “cuckoo bird,” which is known for laying its eggs in other birds’ nests. There’s your etymology lesson for the day.

There is no shame in your fantasy game.

In modern day, it’s become …